The Shroud Of Turin Is A Beautiful Fake

Since I can write about anything I want, I would like to weigh in on why I believe the Shroud of Turin is not the genuine burial cloth of Jesus. I keep seeing things lately on social media and in the news about the Shroud. So many people believe it is genuine. They've run tests and some of those tests came back with reasons to think the Shroud has merit. I remain unconvinced.

I probably should pause here and say - if someone believes this is Jesus' shroud, that's fine with me. It's not a sin to believe this is the genuine article and it's not a sin to disbelieve it. This is not a salvational issue in either direction. Let's agree to disagree in peace, and God's blessings be on you.

Please give me the chance to state my case.

THIRD DIMENSION

When I was younger, I used to do quite a bit of video game level design. Part of that was 3D modeling to make the characters. At first, I would make what I thought were great images to go on the 3D models, yet they looked horrible once applied. Everything was distorted, like a Picasso. It took me a while to grasp the idea that you cannot wrap a 2D skin around a 3D model without distorting it grotesquely. 2D and 3D are very different. To change between them requires alterations. If it looks great in 3D, it will look terrible flattened into 2D. And if it looks great in 2D, it will look terrible expanded into 3D. To wrap an image and have it come out right, you must distort it first.

Go ahead. Try it for yourself. Draw a picture on some paper of a face. Simple or beautiful, it doesn't matter. Now, take that paper and try to wrap it around a mannequin head or even a real head. It won't work. The eyes will not be far enough apart nor wide enough. The nose bridge will get in your way. The mouth and cheeks will be slightly off. The ears will be very far off. The farther you get from the center line, the worse it distorts. Almost nothing will look right.

The problem is, you drew it so that it looks proportional on paper, but to get that to look proportional on an actual head it must be stretched out. This isn't an option. It must be stretched out.

Or, try it the other way around. Put a blank sheet of paper around someone's head and mark where the ears, jawline, mouth, and eyes are. Now flatten it out. See how wide apart everything is? Go and buy a latex Halloween mask of a face. Now, cut it and try to flatten it out so that it's flat like a sheet of paper. What is going to happen? The nose will be ruined, the sides of the head will be far to the left and the right. You'll see the ears straight on like they were eyes. And generally, everything will look terrible. Things that look great in 3D will look terrible in 2D and vice versa.

Here is an image of a 3D head graphed out and then flayed out into 2D:

See what I mean? Does the Shroud look anything like that? No. Then it was created 2D to begin with.

When you look at the Shroud, it's a perfect 2D human form. This is why I believe it is fake. That sheet was made by a talented artist, but not one who was familiar with 3D forms.

SEE MUCH TOO MUCH

Take a look at this enhanced negative image of the face on the Shroud:

What do you notice? A face with a nose, eyes, cheeks, jaw, mouth, neck, moustache and beard, and hair. That's what I notice. Yet, we shouldn't be noticing all those things.

Think about it. If the Shroud draped across the face:

• The nose bridge would prevent it from touching the nostrils and cheeks.
• The full forehead would not be touched.
• The eyebrows and cheeks would prevent the eyelids from being touched.
• The moustache and beard would prevent the lips from being touched.
• The nose, cheek bones, and beard would prevent the cheeks and whole jaw from being touched.
• The jaw would prevent the neck from being touched.
  
• The hair should barely be visible at all, because it would have fallen back and away.

To mention but a few.
We should see none of those things. Yet, we do. And it happens throughout. That's not right.

This image shows what we might expect if we took a photo of a man standing, but not if a sheet lay across a body lying. Go ahead, Google "body under a sheet" and take a good look at any of those images. Notice anything? An almost complete lack of detail. You could never identify a body under a sheet. Yet, you could very well identify the body from the Shroud if you knew who that was. Shouldn't be possible.

And we only went over the head. The whole of the body displays these same things. Look at the belly where the arms cross. Should not see the belly there. The arms would prevent it. Same with the feet and ankles.

When you look at the Shroud, it's a perfect 2D representation of a human form even in the places where we should see nothing at all. This is why I believe it is fake. That sheet was made by an artist, but not from a sheet draped over a lying form.

SOMETHING IS MISSING

In addition to what you should not see, there are some things missing that you should see. 

You cannot take a flat sheet like the Shroud of Turin then wrap it around a human body without folding it in many strange ways. Yet, when you look at the Shroud, it's a perfect 2D representation of a human form. No folds. No wrinkles. I don't mean of the fabric, I mean of the image. The image displays no hint that the fabric was folded or wrinkled when the image was created.

When was the last time you folded an article of clothing without having a single wrinkle? The image was created with the appearance of being folded, but folded in nice, crisp lines; perfectly straight and true. The amount of effort it would take to pull that off is simply more than the people had when they rushed to bury Jesus before sundown.

Some say the image was generated all at once with a sudden bright light. Fine and well. That does nothing to what I am saying. It should still be distorted because the sheet would have been folded and wrinkled in places. It was wrapped around the body after all. When it is unfolded and unwrinkled, laying nicely flat, the resulting image should not be so perfect as we see. It should look somewhat tie-dyed in places, or shattered. It does not.

Another thing that is missing - the top of the head. If it were folded around the head, where is the top?

Here is a screenshot of the Shroud at the area of the head. The Shroud is one continuous sheet of fabric. It appears to have been laid under the body, wrapping up the back from the feet to the head, folding around the top of the head, then wrapping back to the feet again.

We must ask, where is the top of the head? If it folded around the top, it should look as if you took a sheet of paper and rested it on your head. When you put a towel on your head, it touches the top of your head, no? If it were generated by a single miraculous flash of light, then it should look somewhat like a continuous, undivided head, no?. Yet, we get a distinct face and a distinct back of the head - complete with hair absolutely firmly in place and defying gravity - but no top of the head. And for that matter, no sides of the head either.

When you look at the shroud, it should display wrinkling like shattered glass in places, yet it does not. It should have a top of the head, yet it does not. It should have sides of the head, yet it doesn't. This is why I believe it is fake. That sheet was made by a talented artist, but not from a sheet draped over a lying form.

JOHN 20

Similar to the last section, we get a verse in the Gospel of John that throws a wrench into the details we see in the Shroud.

(JON. 20: 6-7) 6 Then Simon Peter came, following him, and went into the tomb; and he saw the linen cloths lying there, 7 and the handkerchief that had been around His head, not lying with the linen cloths, but folded together in a place by itself.

Jesus' head was wrapped in a separate cloth. There is no hint of a separate cloth on the Shroud. No matter how you arrange it, a separate cloth wrapped around the head would change or entirely prevent the image on the Shroud. Whether this separate cloth were under the Shroud or over it, it doesn't matter. It would wrinkle the Shroud. It would distort the image.

Also, John says linen cloths, plural, not cloth, singular. There should be more than one part to the Shroud.

When you look at the Shroud, it's a fully recognizable human face. This is why I believe it is fake. That sheet was made by an artist, but not from several sheets from a Jewish burial with another cloth wrapped around its head.

HOLY ROMAN EMPEROR

The last point I will give you is that the image on the Shroud is a typical Germanic face of the type which was popular in European art. It does not resemble the typical face of a Jewish man from the Middle East.

We do not know what Jesus looked like, but you can be certain He did not look like this:

That is a statuette of Jesus from Germany. Look at how thin and long that face is. It even has the proper blond hair and blue eyes of a German. Nothing about this says Middle Easterner to me. Yet its general shape resembles the image on the Shroud.

Is it particularly wrong to imagine Jesus in our own image? I really do not believe it is wrong, morally. There are German Jesuses, Chinese Jesuses, African Jesuses, and etc. Some people complain Jesus wasn't sub-Saharan black. Well, guess what - He wasn't northern European white either! Setting iconoclasm aside here, I don't think these various depictions are wrong, per se, morally. Our Lord is in each of His own people. But if we are looking for accuracy - and the burial cloth of Jesus would be as accurate as anything else could be - then we have to say none of the images of Jesus we have today are genuinely accurate ...including the one on the Shroud.

Perhaps you think the Shroud looks more like a Spanish Conquistador than a Holy Roman Emperor. No matter. The point I am making is that the image on the Shroud is a European face if ever I've seen one, not a Jewish face.

And have you ever noticed the beard on the Shroud? It's forked. (Much like the statue above.) That style was particularly popular in kings and officials from the Carolingian and later eras (think Charlemagne and Holy Roman Empire). That would make it a symbol of royalty and status in the Medieval period. The first mention of the Shroud comes from the 1300s. If you do a search for medieval kings, you will see several in the target time period where kings have forked beards. The question is - were forked beards popular among wandering preachers in Judaea in the 30s AD? Highly doubtful. We can never know for certain, but chances are the popular style followed Greece.

When you look at the Shroud, it's a perfect 2D representation of a European form. This is why I believe it is fake. That sheet was made by a talented European artist, but not from sheets draped over a Jewish man lying on a slab.

CONCLUSION

As I said at the start, this is not a salvational issue. Disagree with me if you will. That's your right. But in my opinion, the Shroud of Turin is a very beautiful and clever piece of artwork but it is not authentic.

If I have not convinced you, that's fine. Thank you for hearing me out. Go in peace. God bless you.

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It is important that you understand; Everything on this blog is based on the current understanding of each author. Never take anyone's word for it, always prove it for yourself, it is your responsibility. You cannot ride someone else's coattail into the Kingdom. ; )

Acts 17:11

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Roman Legions

Just a short post today to show you something interesting.

I found this image online. I haven't had the desire to really verify if it is accurate. Take a look.

What it claims to show are the areas of the Roman Empire with a count of the number of legions assigned to secure those areas. Four legions here. Eight legions there. That's a lot of legions!

And I can't believe they coordinated that whole thing without any high-speed communications.

I really am not so much interested in the precise accuracy of the thing. I am more interested in something Jesus said.

It is well after sundown after the Last Supper. Jesus and His remaining companions had retired to the Mount of Olives. Judas had finalized His betrayal. A group of men had arrived to arrest Jesus. John 18 tells us Peter cuts off the ear of the High Priest's servant. Jesus restores the man. Then, Jesus says this:

(MAT. 22: 52-56) 52 But Jesus said to him, “Put your sword in its place, for all who take the sword will perish by the sword. 53 Or do you think that I cannot now pray to My Father, and He will provide Me with more than twelve legions of angels? 54 How then could the Scriptures be fulfilled, that it must happen thus?”

Twelve legions was more than any area of Rome had. It was well more than Judea had.

As an side, there is Jesus, talking again about how He was committed to keeping His covenant and fulfilling the prophets. Just like we saw in the post "One Jot or One Tittle".

That graphic claims to be for the second century. I understand Rome only had about 28 legions at the time Jesus was arrested. Jesus was saying the Father would send Him half the Roman army.

When I looked it up, the number of men in a legion is anywhere from 5,000 to 6,000 men. Let's go with that lower number. When we take 12 legions, multiplied by 5,000, we get 60,000. That's a lot of angels! If you think about it, one angel would have done the trick. We have no defense at all against them. When the singular angel of death visited Egypt, they were completely helpless. (Whether that angel was Yahweh Himself is not important right now.) I think the number Jesus mentioned was specifically to make a point.

I just thought this was interesting.

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It is important that you understand; Everything on this blog is based on the current understanding of each author. Never take anyone's word for it, always prove it for yourself, it is your responsibility. You cannot ride someone else's coattail into the Kingdom. ; )

Acts 17:11

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Lightening The Mood

I thought I would throw out something in a lighter vein. Following are excerpts taken from a Bible dictionary of sorts I wrote several years ago. If I survive the initial stoning, I might post more of it.

Adam: The first man. Adam was inflicted with a wound in his side for the purpose of acquiring a mate. From that day forward, this wound has been self-inflicted.

Ahab: Wicked king of ancient Israel, said to have gone mad searching for a white whale.

Antichrist: Someone else’s Christ. It is theorized that if the antichrist and Christ were to meet, great destruction would result.

Apocaholic: One addicted to doom and gloom. It can be one either preaching or believing the soon coming total destruction of evil mankind, leaving them and others like them to inherit the earth.

Balaam: A priest of some sort who was hired by the enemies of Israel to curse Israel. Balaam was warned by an ass, and in the end, lost his ass.

Balm: Healing substance made in Gilead that was made popular through aggressive advertizing, including a jingle that has survived to this day in one form or another.

Ben Hur: A prince of Judah who, during the ministry of Jesus, spent his time traveling the Mediterranean by ship. Ben Hur was said to have had a remarkable resemblance to Moses.

Boaz: Old Testament character who, prior to marriage, was known to be Ruthless.

Burnt-Offering: ¹ Sacrifice made to God where the offering is burnt up completely on the altar. ² Dinner cooked by a variety of modern wives.

Canada: Land where God instructed Moses to lead the children of Israel after leaving Egypt. Moses was somewhat hard of hearing, and as a result relocated in Canaan instead. As a result, Yiddish Columbia is today known as British Columbia.

Catechism: The worship of cats.

Cubit: Standard of measurement used in Ancient Israel that was lacking in standardization. The cubit is believed by most to be the length from a man’s elbow to the tip of his fingers. In recent history this method of measurement was replaced by a more precise standard, called the “Foot.”

David (King): King of ancient Israel said to be a man after God’s own heart. King David committed many egregious sins, such as murder and adultery, yet managed to preserve his relationship with God. It’s good to be the king.

Deceived: Condition suffered by others claiming to be Christian who attend churches other than yours. It is utterly impossible for a real Christian to be deceived, despite the warnings in scripture concerning deceptions. “We know we are right and the rest are wrong” is one of the main tenets of Christianity.

Donation: Euphemistic term for money extorted from the membership of a church collective.

Eden: Mankind’s first abode. Adam and Eve ticked off the landlord and were evicted with instructions to never come back. Something to do with stealing fruit from the landlord’s tree.

Eli: Old Testament religious leader and High Priest, who set the stage for modern religious leaders and practice.

Eschatology: The study of the end time and end time events. Eschatology is usually speculative, and viewed in the time frame of those studying the subject for the last two millennia. Some modern views on Eschatology appear to be more closely related to Scatology.

Eve: The first schemer and shopper. In order to acquire a particular fruit, she talked Adam into trying a sample. Men have been tasting things prepared by wives ever since in order to avoid confrontation.

False Witness: A person conjured up by the powers that be in order to discredit a person worthy of condemnation when no credible True Witness can be found.

Gilead: District of Israel known for bomb making, hence the warning in song: There is a bomb in Gilead.

Gluttony: The sin of eating to excess. Gluttony should be a sin on par with drunkenness, where many churches have outlawed the drinking of alcoholic beverages in order to prevent their membership from inadvertently getting drunk. Therefore, using the same logic, eating should not be allowed either, as one might overindulge. This will never happen seeing as it would have to be enacted by well fed ministers.

Graven image: Image or Icon that is anointed with gravy.

Ham: Son of Noah who became unclean.

Harlot: Woman of influence and power.

Heave offering: Offering that is large enough as to require two or more people to cast it upon the altar while reciting the proper liturgy, “Heave ho”; the meaning of which has been lost to antiquity.

Heaven: The realm where God resides and the realm where Christians believe they will reside as the reward, or end result of salvation, where they can indulge in doing the things they could not do on earth in order to assure entrance into heaven. Many Christians believe that they will go to heaven, but none seem to be in any big hurry to get there. When Jesus is seen as returning to the earth, some believe that those Christians who are alive will be changed and go to heaven. Hopefully, they will wave to each other in passing.

Heretic: ¹One who’s set of beliefs differ from yours. ²Parasite found on Greek goddesses.

Holy Roller: Quaint term used to describe one who’s religion includes physical manifestations, such as rolling on the floor. In this way the worshiper is able to exercise without having to join a fitness club.

Hypocrisy: The fine art of maintaining a double standard, where one condemns others for conduct they practice themselves.

Inspiration: Claim made by most all religious leaders in order to inspire a following. The proper translation of the word more accurately means “expiration” which is what many of those claiming inspiration should practice.

Jerusalem: City located along the high ridge separating the desert to the east, and the coastal area to the west. The city and surrounding terrain is somewhat inhospitable, similar to the area of Las Vegas, Nevada. Las Vegas legalized gambling in order to draw people. Jerusalem was proclaimed a religious setting for much the same reasoning.

Judah: One of the twelve sons of Israel who had a good sense for business. When the brothers of Joseph conspired to kill him, Judah realized there was no profit in this, and recommended they sell Joseph into slavery instead.

Judas Iscariot: Disciple who betrayed Jesus into the hands of the Jewish religious leaders by way of a kiss. This practice has been borrowed by certain crime families which became known as the kiss of death. In the gay mafia, the kiss of death is followed by dinner and dancing.

Judgement: What every Christian is entitled to practice without restraint— not to be confused with Final Judgement, where those who practiced judgement find themselves condemned for some vague reason.

Last Rites: Ritual performed in the Catholic faith prior to imminent death. If by some miracle the person recovers, Last Rites automatically become Second-to-Last Rites. This possibility has the potential of causing some theological problems which could easily be avoided by the Priest who administers the Last Rites, by giving the suffering individual a slight rap on the head with a blunt object (perhaps a large cross) at the conclusion of Last Rites.

Levi: One of the sons of Jacob who wore the pants in his family.

Lord’s Supper: One of the few Christian rituals in a religion that claims to have replaced rituals with spiritual realities. In this ritual, the membership partake of a small bit of bread representative of the body of Jesus, and a small amount of wine, representative of Jesus’ blood. Some churches teach that these symbols literally become the body and blood of the Christ. (see: Transubstantiation) Much has been written on this subject by unbelievers who have pointed out certain absurdities such as, “If a mouse were to eat a piece of bread now the body of Christ, would the mouse be saved?” The answer is obviously no, as the mouse failed to drink the wine/blood. Another observation is the statement that if one were to poison the bread prior to its being made the body of Christ, would the bread, now the body of Christ, kill the person who ate it? The question is irrelevant, because whether the person lives or dies, at least he is now assured eternal life as long as he gets a sip of the wine/blood before collapsing.

The issue can be easily answered for all parties concerned by simply reading the rest of John the sixth chapter, where Jesus qualifies what he meant earlier in the narrative. This, however, has been too much a bother for Christians throughout the centuries.

It is the opinion of this writer that the Lord’s Supper should be followed by another ritual, to be known as, “The Lord’s Dessert” as the supper isn’t very filling.

Love: Vaguely defined concept in scripture that relates to another's relationship toward you, where you would have them do unto you what you would not necessarily do for them. Scriptures are replete with the concept, which are largely ignored and thought to be of minor importance in the greater scheme of things.

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It is important that you understand; Everything on this blog is based on the current understanding of each author. Never take anyone's word for it, always prove it for yourself, it is your responsibility. You cannot ride someone else's coattail into the Kingdom.

Acts 17:11

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