Dealing With Indecision

Hi everyone! It's me, xHWA. I wanted to get some stuff off my chest, so I decided to share some things with y'all. Nothing scripturally deep, really. And I hope something I say is a help to somebody somehow.

One thing I've noticed since my gaining freedom from Armstrongism is that a weight has been hung around my neck which hinders nearly all I do, and that weight is named "indecision". This is not something new, as if to say it appeared after exiting my former affiliation, but it had been there for some years. The thing is, while a person is in a controlling system and so very many decisions are made for you ahead of time, one just becomes acclimated to those conditions. All I really ever needed to ask was "when is such and such". I never had to decide much for myself.

Now, toss into that mix a healthy dose of latent fear and doubt. For so very many years I was taught that a great many things were from Satan and led directly to Gehenna without passing go. Well, being for the most part ignorant of the truth (which is why I appreciate this blog so deeply), what do I know otherwise? I don't think to look to others to tell me what to do but rather to tell me what they did and how that turned out. The way I figure things, I have to force myself to make decisions or I will always be nothing but a sheep - tossed to and fro by every wind (doctrine or otherwise). 

I have noticed this same behavior in some other former Armstrongists. They read one thing and agree with it... until they have time to think about it. That's when the doubt sets in. They second guess themselves, come to the realization that they aren't really sure about what they first thought and that they don't trust this or that about it, then decide it's probably best to change their mind and go the other way. Whether this is wise or not is really haphazard at best. Certainly I'm not advocating a 'full speed ahead and damn the torpedoes' approach. But it's the constant fear, doubt, indecision, and second-guessing that I'm getting at. It's as if we've become rabbits rather than sheep - darting here and there, stopping and feinting and running away.

What I have been dealing with lately are the natural decisions anyone would expect after closing any chapter and starting a new one. I have been asking "what now?" I have been seeking answers, trying to learn what I believe that is true and what I believe that is false. That's a tall order all by itself! (Imagine it with all that baggage of fear and indecision piled on. If you've left a cult, you know what I mean.) I've been talking hours on end with my wife about how we handle the children. We need to make a decision about things that have never been an issue in the past. For example, it's the Easter season now. I still have a great deal of hesitation about the holidays. Do I lighten up about Easter and let my kids go on an Easter egg hunt with their new friends? Do I avoid all that like the plague because it's from Satan and leads directly to Gehenna without passing go? Then there is the issue of the various denominations out there. Which church most closely matches what I believe is true? The best I can do is go with what I believe. One thing I stand absolutely firm on -- NO CONDEMNATION! Let me illustrate what I mean.

The Catholics are too much like a cult for my taste (and my friend's taste who spend 14+ years in the missionary and seminary). Still, I believe real, honest, genuine Christians exist there. Are they all? As if to say, is the Catholic Church the one true church? No. I believe the "one true church" to be spiritual, and it utterly disregards corporate man-made boundaries. So the Catholic Church is not the "one true church", but the one true church does exist at points inside the Catholic Church. Probably even Armstrongism too, so far as I know. Who am I to judge? People would say, "But xHWA, the Catholic Church is rife with idolatry! They kneel before and kiss relics, they adore Mary, they pray to dead men, they set the Pope almost as Christ Himself, etc, etc!" OK. Granted. But then here comes that judgment and condemnation again. Herbert Armstrong had a disturbingly similar set of policies, IMHO. People idolized HWA, thought of him as second only to Christ Himself, held a hierarchical government that made idols of the ministry, used White Out to blot the face of Jesus from all books and spat on crucifixes but seemed to believe the second Commandment did not apply to images of HWA which were everywhere! You can plaster your walls with pictures and praise to HWA, but if you have a crucifix anywhere... GEHENNA!! And HWA condemned all but his own cult. I want nothing at all whatsoever to do with that. 

Who are we to judge another Man's servant? Christ said "...what is that to you? You follow Me." I hold that I, as a Christian, am called to be a witness for the defense, not the prosecution. If I can hold out hope that Christ is truly in certain members of the Catholic Church or other places, then that is what I will do - even with all the flaws. Even so, I cannot personally become a member of those groups because of those flaws. I simply disagree with them too strongly. [Please keep in mind my comments are my own opinion.]

The same goes for the other mainstream denominations. I feel I cannot join one or the other group because of this or that reason. 

For example, I don't want to be a Pentecostal because of the speaking in tongues doctrine. It just makes me far too uncomfortable. Is the Church of God there? Yes, I believe it is. But as much as I would love to go to some of the Pentecostal churches that are in my area, because man do they look like what I'm searching for, I don't feel it is the place for me. Visit? Maybe. Join? No. I see the Anglican/Episcopal church as being as close to Catholic as you can get without going over. They have their own failings; they have their own blessings. Once again, is the Body of Christ there? I hold out hope that it is... but I don't think it's the place for me either. I don't want a church that was started by one man, so many smaller groups are out. The Methodists refer to John Wesley too much for my taste. Besides, I don't want to get involved in all the splits they have been having lately. It seems that every time I look to see what the Methodists believe on one thing or the other, I see that they are still investigating it, and there is no official set belief. Just take a stand already! I get all the way down to Presbyterianism and I see that as being the closest mainstream match for me. Even so, I disagree with the L, I, and P of the Calvin's TULIP. James Pate asked me if I am a Calvinist. I would have to say no. So now I'm searching for a non-denominational church that affords me the freedom to believe what I do at this time, but isn't so darned wishy-washy that they just let everyone believe everything. I've seen community churches whose websites are downright silly. Just goofy. I've seen groups whose tag line is "church for people who don't go to church." What does that mean? I don't want a purveyor of pop-psychology. I want real messages from the Bible. If I wanted pop-psych, I'd watch Oprah. I've seen people like Joel Olsteen who say, on national television, that God wants him to be rich. Ummmmmm... not on my dollar you don't. I want my money to go to help the poor, not the well off. The last thing I want is some guy who calls himself a Pastor, but really is just a peddler of Christ. Had that already, thanks.

See what I'm saying? I kinda know what I want, but then the indecision sets in. Everything has both good and bad. I already accept that no one has the whole truth. But I start asking myself, what degree of error is acceptable? What doctrines can I just live with, and what must I avoid? Then the whole search becomes a dilemma, and I'm right back where I started. But what really bakes my noodle is the question: how much of my disagreements are simply my own misunderstandings of scripture and history from Armstrongism carrying over?

I have hope in the natural process of things. I learned years ago that when I start something new it will be unfamiliar and foreign to me until some point when I realize I have gotten used to things and it now seems more like second nature. 

Take jobs for instance. When you first start a new job you don't know the layout, the people, the traditions, etc. But after a few months or so you realize that you're at home there, you know the people, you have mastered the culture, you can anticipate things, and it is as if you had always been there. It is my hope that my problems will resolve themselves in time, so long as I can become aware of them and force myself to deal with them.

I have found some good candidates, and I am going to give them a shot. Wish me luck. My big concern is that things won't turn out, and I have to uproot the kids... AGAIN.

Well, I think that I am learning about priorities. A Christian's relationship with Jesus Christ is a personal thing. I told myself early on that even if I were to attend a mainstream denomination, I will not call myself after them. For example, if I went to a Presbyterian church, I will not call myself "a Presbyterian". No. I am a Christian. I invited Christ into my heart, as His temple, to be my Savior, apart from any other man or group. I decided when I left Armstrongism that my faith, even my very life, is in Jesus Christ alone and not any man or any group, or any law, or any strength or righteousness of my own. It's just me and Him (mostly Him). I can't save anyone else; I can't be saved by anyone else; I'm not calling myself after anyone else but Christ. No hyphenated names in this marriage!

Anywho... that's where I am. What I think is helping me the most is trying to follow what Christ said to Peter, "You follow Me." OK. I have questions and indecision galore about how to do that exactly. But here's one thing I do that I think is the right thing, I've boiled what I believe down to it's most basic elements. I believe in Jesus Christ as the Messiah, I share that with others, I strive for moral excellence in myself, and I believe what He wants me to do is to actively love others as myself. I'm not perfect. I make mistakes. I am growing into my relationship with Christ (a Christian walk is a growth process). If I don't want to be condemned for my failures then I can't condemn others either. The way I see it, God is love. God is the beginning and the end. That means love is the beginning and the end. Everything else really is just gravy on top of that.

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It is important that you understand; Everything on this blog is based on the current understanding of each author. Never take anyone's word for it, always prove it for yourself, it is your responsibility. You cannot ride someone else's coattail into the Kingdom.

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To Acquire a Following

I was watching "House" on TV the other night. He had a conversation with a patient that went like this:

House: "In 1844 a preacher in upstate NY added up some dates in the Bible & predicted Jesus' return. His followers gave away all their possessions & showed up in a field.

Guess who didn't show?

So the preacher said that he miscalculated & they went right back the next month, but with more followers.
Every time he was irrefutably proved wrong, it redoubled everyone's belief."

A few days later...

Patient: "I looked up the preacher from NY State. His followers never faded out! They became the Seventh Day Adventists! A major religion! That man changed the course of history!"

House: "Because his followers were as deluded as he was."

Patient: "Maybe he just gave them something to live for."

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Here is an excerpt from The New York Times:

BELIEFS

By Peter Steinfels
Published: Saturday, March 6, 1993

Seventh-day Adventism itself was born of speculation about the last days. In the 1840's, followers of a Baptist preacher, William Miller, announced that Jesus would return to earth on Oct. 22, 1844. What followed was known as "The Great Disappointment," and only the visions and writings of Ellen G. White, the chief founder of Seventh-day Adventism, forged a new church from the dispersed followers.

http://www.nytimes.com/1993/03/06/us/beliefs-212993.html?sec=&spon=&pagewanted=all

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And an excerpt from: [Bold and underline mine. Do any of them sound at all familar?]

 Saints, Sinners and Reformers

The Burned-Over District Re-Visited

by 

John H. Martin

Chapter 8

_____________________________________________________________
William Miller

_____________________________________________________________
The End of Time and the Adventist Sects

There is nothing like certainty in predicting the future to help religious sects to grow and to attain additional adherents. So it was with the date of October 22, 1844, the time when the Millennium would occur, when Jesus would return, and the thousand year reign of the saved would begin. In the 1840s a wave of anticipation brought many believers to millennial expectations, both within American churches as well as in the growing number of revivals where the preaching about the end of time was taking place. It was, therefore, a great disappointment when October 23rd rolled around and time was still present. Hope does spring eternal, however, and the Millennial excitement which occurred in the period before 1843 has seldom abated, and in these later times the electronic information revolution provides the expectant with more than one hundred popular millennial sites which can be found on the Internet.

William Grandison Finney, and the many other revivalists who excited believers in the first half of the nineteenth century, in part provided the seed ground for those who looked forward to the End of Time. A belief in the return of Jesus as the Messiah had been strongest in the early Church in the decades after the death of Jesus, but it was to fade thereafter as the centuries rolled on. It was the growth of pietistic groups in Europe after the Reformation and then the great revivals in the nineteenth century in America which was to bring about a resurgence in Millennial hopes. These revivals which occurred in the first third of the nineteenth century in America placed the emphasis on the Bible rather than on the traditional Christian theology which had accrued in the centuries after the death of Jesus. Many of the popular preachers of the time were ignorant of this Christian tradition since they were untrained, often poorly educated, and knew only the Bible as the basis for their faith.

In one sense, these revivalists were creating a new Reformation since they were attempting to go back solely to the Bible, to the earliest recorded form of Christianity, a step which neither Calvin nor Luther had fully undertaken. The primitive approach to Christianity of these revivalists encouraged a literal acceptance of the words of the Bible as inherently correct in every detail. It also could lead to a gullibility and a readiness to accept anything new in religious experience which came down the pike. The "New Methods" in religion which Charles Grandison Finney had encouraged were a form of religious innovation which was based on the emotional revivalism which did not encourage a depth of religious thought. It was stressing the "New Man in Christ," a reformed individual who was freed from sin—and freed from any theological moorings.

Revivalist Christianity freed one to interpret the Bible as one saw fit, and thus those who read the Bible often concentrated on the sections of scripture which seemed to forecast the future, particularly the Book of Revelations and The Book of Daniel. As a result, one of the basic elements in revivalist preaching dealt particularly with the anticipated Second Coming of Jesus and the Millennium. There arose among some literalistic Christians a need to pinpoint just when the Millennium would arrive and as to what form it would take. These individuals who were eagerly anticipating the End of Time fell into one of two camps: they were either Pre- or Post-Millennial believers.

1. The Pre-Millennialists believed that Christ, the Messiah, would return before long to begin his one thousand year reign. He would come when conditions in the world had become sufficiently hopeless. These believers were, if you will, pessimists who saw the world becoming more and more sinful. They praised the Lord since the world was getting worse, and it was essential that Christ return to make all things whole once more. Among these were the followers of William Miller who would, after the 1840s, eventually develop the Seventh Day and other Adventist churches.

2. The other group, the Post Millennialists, saw the coming of the Messiah when the world was made ready for his return. These were the activists and optimists who wished to help make the world a better place so the Messiah could return. These included the Shakers, Jemima Wilkinson, and the Oneida Community.

Two things brought the Pre-Millennial excitement to a white heat in the late 1830s and into the 1840s. First, there was widespread economic distress after the 1837 economic panic in the United States, and this seemed to indicate that the world was growing more hopeless. Millennialism has always flourished in difficult times, and the Millennial hope had always surfaced on those occasions in the history of Christianity when the outlook for life was most bleak.

Secondly, there was the preaching and teaching of William Miller, a man who had little formal education but who had a fixation on the coming "End of Time." Concern for "The Last Days" thus excited the hopes and fears of many believers. Many who heard William Miller preaching that the Millennium was at hand became convinced that the coming end of the world was imminent. The followers of Miller were quite dramatic in their beliefs, for they foresaw the literal appearance of the Christ, the actual ascent of the saints into Heaven, and the actual descent of the wicked into Hell—and this in their own lifetime.

What was the background of William Miller, this American apostle of the End of Time? Miller was born in 1782 in Pittsfield, Massachusetts, the eldest of sixteen children. He was not too educated an individual, although he was an omnivorous reader, nor did he hold a position of any note in the society of his day. In 1813, when he was thirty-one, Miller was swept up in a Vermont revival, and he became worried over the state of his eternal soul. He was convinced, from the revival preaching that he attended, that he was a sinner and that he was faced with the possibility of eternal damnation. Thus he began to go to church and to study the Bible assiduously, growing ever more despondent over his future fate.

Finally he had a conversion experience, and he joined a Calvinistic Baptist church where he developed a sincere and lasting piety. Miller came to believe that scripture should be accepted entirely and literally. Every word in the Bible was true, every Biblical prophecy would be fulfilled. That there were contradictory statements in the Bible might bother some individuals, but not Miller. He spent fourteen years reconciling all the contradictions he found in the Bible, thereby proving to his satisfaction that the Bible was pure revelation.

Miller next began to figure the date of the second coming of the Messiah by using The Book of Daniel and The Book of Revelation, particularly the twentieth chapter of Revelation. His calculations led him to a date around 1843 for the Second Coming. He spent the years from 1822 to 1832 re-figuring his calculations, ever more convinced of their validity. He was, however, shy and fearful of speaking out since, after all, he was a man of little education. Then in 1832 there occurred an event which changed his life: he was asked by a church to fill in for an absent preacher, and his vision of the future simply overflowed in his speaking.

In the pulpit he became eloquent in describing the joys of the saved as opposed to the suffering of the wicked. He so thrilled the congregation on this 1832 occasion that he was asked to stay on to lead a week's revival—and thirteen families were converted under his preaching. Requests poured in for him to speak at other churches, and in 1833 he became a Baptist preacher and a revivalist. Piety alone, and not knowledge, were sufficient for ordination in some American churches. Now, as a minister, he could speak concerning his ideas of the Second Coming of Jesus. His fame spread, and he was much in demand in Vermont, New Hampshire, and upstate New York.

The Reverend Joshua V. Himes, the pastor of the Chardon Street Baptist Chapel of Boston, happened to hear Miller preach at a religious conference. Himes immediately accepted Miller's millennial ideas and became Miller's publicity agent, manager, and promoter. Himes happened to be a religious entrepreneur par excellence, and he invited Miller to speak at his Chardon Street Chapel in December of 1839. The Chardon Street Chapel is remembered today primarily because of a comment Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote after a November 1840 meeting there when the Chapel housed a "Convention of Friends of Universal Reform." Emerson described it in these words:

If the assembly were disorderly, it was picturesque. Mad Men, Mad Women, Men with beards, Dunkers, Muggletonians, Come-outers, Groaners, Agrarians, Seventh Day Baptists, Quakers, Abolitionists, Calvinists, Unitarians, and Philosophers, all came successively to the top and seized their moment, if not their hour, wherein to chide, pray, or preach, or protest.

With functions such as this in his Chapel, it is understandable why Himes loved crowds, revivals, camp meetings, particularly the exhibition of fear and repentance which were the trappings of emotional religion.

Himes not only arranged Miller's revivals for him, but he edited journals which promulgated Miller's ideas such as the Boston Sign of the Times, the New York Midnight Cry, the primary papers of the Millennial movement. In 1836, sixteen of Miller's lectures appeared in book form as EVIDENCES FROM SCRIPTURES AND HISTORY OF THE SECOND COMING OF CHRIST ABOUT THE YEAR 1843. As with the Book of Mormon by Joseph Smith, Miller's writings needed editing by a more literate individual, a service which Himes provided for William Miller.

By 1842 at least fourteen itinerant lecturers, urged on by Himes, were swarming over the Burned-Over area of New York State promulgating Miller's ideas. Then, as a confirmation of Miller's predictions, from February 18th until April 1, 1842, a brilliant comet burned nightly on the horizon of the sky. It ,fulfilled the prophecy that the Lord would be "Revealed in flaming fire, taking vengeance on them that know not the Lord." Miller grew even more inspired as 1843 neared, lecturing more than three hundred times in six months on the theme: "ARE YOU READY TO MEET YOUR SAVIOUR?" In the summers of 1842 and 1843 there were one hundred and twenty camp meetings whose preaching centered on the coming Millennium.

Miller was not a ranting revivalist, for his sermons were given in a serious and convincing tone. Thousands had to be turned away from his tent rallies as interest in his preaching and predictions surged during what was evidently the last year of earthly existence. In 1843 as Time neared an end, Himes moved their headquarters to Rochester, New York, to be in the heart of the Burned-Over District. On June 23rd of that year Himes had a great tent erected in Rochester, one which could hold three thousand potential converts to Millennialism. Two weeks of meetings, prayers, preaching, and forecast of the coming Millennium proceeded.

Not everyone believed as Miller and his followers did, and books and pamphlets both for and against the prediction of the imminent Millennium poured from the presses. Many clergymen of more moderate persuasion condemned Miller's ideas as erroneous, and at times mobs even tried to break up the meetings at which he spoke, and Miller was pelted with rotten vegetables. But still his converts increased. Himes, ever the public relations man, estimated that one million people had been converted to Millennial beliefs. This is the usual problem with such estimates made by those most concerned with the success of a movement in which they are involved. At best, there may have been some 50,000 individuals who succumbed to Miller's predictions, and most of them remained within the churches to which they had previously adhered.

As 1843 continued day by day, month by month, Miller almost disappeared from sight, growing ill, old, and worn out by his activities. He preached less and less. Himes, however, was in his element as time ran out for this wicked world. He developed more field workers, placing additional itinerant speakers on the roads. Huge meetings were held in New York City, Philadelphia, and the Mid-West. The announcement of the date of such meetings always bore the titillating conditional phrase "If Time Continues." Sunday schools were started for children, and books and catechisms were printed for them, such Sunday school literature and Millennial newspapers always ending with "And that's the way the world is coming to an end." Nonetheless, the secular press remained skeptical. There were reports of dishonesty among the leaders who operated the lectures predicting the End of Time and of the filling of their pockets at the expense of susceptible believers.

With the advent of 1843, a demand grew for an exact date of the Second Coming. Miller was reluctant to pinpoint the day. He had always said it would come about 1843. The radicalism which was developing among some of Miller's converts also distressed him. One of his disciples, John Starkweather, for example, was going too far in encouraging physical manifestations of conversion, the old excesses of the earlier revival movement. For Starkweather, hallucinations and epileptic attacks were seen as extreme but sincere forms of conversion and piety. Then Starkweather went in for mesmerism (hypnosis) and orgies of exhibitionism. The movement was growing out of control. Most Millerites were poor and uneducated, mostly converts from Methodist and Calvinistic Baptist sects. There were few from the more established churches of the Unitarians, Presbyterians, or Episcopalians among the Millerites. Thus these less educated religious seekers were more susceptible to the emotional excesses in which Starkweather reveled.

The appointed year of 1843 passed without the appearance of Jesus or the End of the World. As a result, the spring equinox of 1844 was seen as the more likely appointed time—without Miller's approval. Miller went over his calculations, and he decided that his figures were in error. Thus the Millerites now realized that October 22, 1844, was when Time would end. Millennial excitement revived, and a great Millennial Tabernacle was even erected in Boston. It has been claimed, whether it is true or not is hard to determine since there were many scoffers around, that there was a run on white cloth for the making of Ascension Robes as believers prepared to be received into Heaven. Some believers are said to have paid off all their debts, while others gave away their possessions as time ran out. Two hundred followers of Miller in Philadelphia, it was reported, fled that city of Sodom before its cataclysmic destruction. It was also claimed that tents were erected atop hills on October 21st so as to be nearer to Heaven when the moment arrived, and it was also said that the more ardent believers even climbed into trees so as to get to Heaven first. Some Americans were evidently to be go-getters even in the Heavenly realm if these claims can be accepted.

Alas, nothing happened on October 22, 1844, or in the days which followed. What of those who were disillusioned when the Millennium did not arrive? Some left thechurch for good, some joined the Shakers, some continued to believe in the imminent Millennium and joined new Adventists groups which began to arise. Among this latter there was one Adventists sector led by Hiram Edson who on October 23, 1844, had a vision when he saw clearly that October 22, 1844, was not the end but the beginning of the end. His vision indicated that Christ had come on October 22nd—but not in the manner they had expected. The event had occurred in Heaven, and thus the Book of Daniel was right in its prophecies. These believers formed the Seventh Day Adventist Church which honored the Jewish Sabbath on Saturday, as prescribed in the Bible. Others said that Christ had come spiritually, and true believers could enjoy Heaven's privileges on earth through one of the newly formed Adventist churches in the loose association of Adventists formed in 1845. The Seventh Day Adventists legally came into being as a religious sect the following year. Then in 1861 the Advent Christian Association was created, having separated from the Seventh Day Adventist group over a question as to the immortality of the soul. In 1882 there was a further division when the Church of God, and then the Churches of God in Jesus Christ came into being. Such groups continue to exist, and their members remain pietistic, tithe contributors to support the many charitable institutions which the Adventists see as the visible reflection of their inner faith.

Miller, poor man, was read out of the Baptist Church. He started a small Adventist church, but he died in 1849 broken and forgotten. What of Himes? He lived until 1895, becoming an Episcopal clergyman in South Dakota. Nonetheless, his old beliefs lived on within him, for when he died he was buried atop a hill so as to be nearer to Heaven and among the first to be with Jesus and the saints.

Biblical literalism remains in many Christian sects today which hold to the prophecies of the Book of Revelation and other Biblical writings as being literally true and imminent. Thus the followers of Miller remain firm in their Biblical orthodoxy and are more orthodox in their Biblical beliefs than the standard Protestant churches where theology and Biblical literalism became less important, leaving Americans free to float from one denomination to another among the main stream Protestant churches which differ little in belief today.

There was an upsurge in Millennialism as the year 2000 neared. Pat Robertson, one of the deans of more fundamentalist American Protestantism, wrote a book in advance of that date entitled THE END OF THE AGE. In 1997, as the Associated Press religious reporter wrote, there were 1,500 people who packed the Sheraton Hotel ballroom in Washington: 

…where for sixteen hours a day the End of Time Handmaidens prayed and swayed, singing of the day when they will "dance on streets that are golden." Around them middle-aged women clad in white and gold robes glide through the aisles while other believers blow into rams' horns, their shrieks announcing the Second Coming. "The end is near. The End-Times are here….This is God's last call," Sister Gwen Shaw, the End of Time Handmaiden's seventy-two year old leader, proclaimed.

It was perhaps the Handmaiden's last convention if they were correct in their predictions. 

According to an Associated Press poll in 1997 almost forty percent of Christians expect Jesus to arrive in the twenty-first century, if not sooner. But then, Joshua V. Himes claimed to have awakened over a million Millennialists in his day, so one may believe what one wishes when it comes to such statistics, then or now.

http://www.crookedlakereview.com/books/saints_sinners/martin8.html

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NOTE from another source: It is important to Seventh-day Adventists to maintain October 22, 1844 as the Day of Atonement regardless of historical documents that bear out September 23, 1844 as the Day of Atonement.

Did any of the things I bolded or underlined sound in the least bit familiar… at all?

How about any of this? (Of course, this covers a wide range)

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It is important that you understand; Everything on this blog is based on the current understanding of each author. Never take anyone's word for it, always prove it for yourself, it is your responsibility. You cannot ride someone else's coattail into the Kingdom.

************

Ron,

Just a few things:

Flowery, syrupy love. Yes, how fake. Apparently love should be sober and formal. Sounds so... warm and loving. But then that makes sense coming from a man who admittedly has to work at showing affection.

You're always going on about Elohim insinuating it means family/God family. Show me proof. You won't find it. You say Jesus' name is Jesus Christ. No, Christ is one of His titles, just as is Yahweh and Rock and Savior, et al. You also say that you will be gods... um, no. Only the Father and the Son are God. Again, God said there was no God created before Him, nor will there be one created after.... we were created... which is also proof that Jesus did not have a beginning.

Last week you went on about Mother Teresa, how people are selfish, there's nothing good in anyone... she was not of God.

So based on this reasoning not a single person is of God... and Ron, you are no exception.

You seem to have a habit of making arguments that don't hold water.

Like "How can He inherit what's already His? The Bible says Yahweh inherits, which I talk about in "Did Jesus Have A Beginning? RePost. Anyone who studies and researches scripture should know that.

You go on about people who who say they have new truth and how haughty they are about what they saw and believed. Well, you tell me; how are you any different? Where is your proof that you have the truth?

I have proof that you are a false teacher, a false prophet leading people away from Jesus. So easily proved. So easily it's laughable.

PKG is your church, yes yours, it's not God's, you don't teach what the Bible says. You teach twisted lies. You pervert the word of God.

Members,

Maybe it's just not your time yet.

You need to understand; Unless you wake up and repent (before the return of Jesus/or the death of your physical body - which ever comes first), I believe you will not be the Bride of Christ. I believe that once you realize the truth, you will accept it and thus be in the kingdom... but not as the Bride. I want you to be part of the Bride of Christ. I want that for you. How could I not?

 Members, can you prove me wrong? Go back and read the Yahweh article (the quickest, easiest one to investigate) then comment or e-mail me the proof that those scriptures don't prove Jesus did not have a beginning, that Jesus is not Yahweh too. Define what those scriptures actually mean, if you don't agree with me. If that particular teaching of Ron's is wrong, what else is?

If I was working on a math problem and got it wrong, how would you show me the actual solution? You wouldn't just say "that's wrong" or "I don't see it that way," you'd go through the steps to show me the solution to the problem, (unless, of course you didn't care).

So Ron was talking about the cesspools on the internet; do you think my blog is a cesspool? Do you think your going to grow sick spiritually because you "dig though the garbage" on my blog? Because you "swim" in my so-called "icky tank?" "eww." Ron says some of the stuff on the internet almost got to him and he had to battle it. I find that interesting. Sounds like he almost saw the truth of God, but sadly, Satan was able to keep his hold on him. 

Well, I ask you, where are my lies. Show me proof.

Let me ask you this; how is Ron any different than me? Where is the proof that he has the truth?

Don't believe his lies and his tricky, crafty words. Tell me how he is any different. Show me the proof. This blog shows proof that he does not have the truth. As RW likes to say: anyone with the eyes to see will see. Anyone called of God will see it is the truth. Unless your being called, you're just not going to see it.

You can't be one with God when you've been cut off, alienated from Jesus.

The unity and oneness you have, this family that Ron talks about, is not with God, it's with Ron. Ron is not of God. He teaches a different Gospel and a different Jesus.

Ron, It's interesting... are you telling your congregation it's okay to keep FOT in their homes? Because, you said they cannot possibly grow spiritually at home, just them and the Father and Jesus. I guess it's okay since you can teach them with your sermons. You sure have a lot of holes in your teachings. You contradict yourself repeatedly. I was wondering; will they be keeping the entire Feast, or just a few days? You know, with the huge deal you make about Pentecost and which day it should start on, and the importance of Sabbaths. But I suppose it would be okay, if you give them permission. Then it won't be counted as a sin for breaking Gods very specific rules for keeping annual Sabbaths. Wow, they are so lucky to have you... the special 'called one'... whose every prophesy failed.

(By the way members, for those of you who lost your jobs last FOT, or who will lose them this time, or lose them again - let me give you something to ponder; God is love, God is love, God is love... and He expects you to prove it by losing your jobs and struggling financially? God is love, God is love, God is love.)

Then you go on about Jn. 14:10-19 and obeying Jesus' commands - like the Old Covenant Ten Commandments were the only commands ever given by God! Jesus said obey my commands, but you say Jesus was not the God of the Old Testament, yet you talk like Jesus is talking about the commands given at Sinai, which makes them the Fathers commands, not Jesus'.

You mock those who say they have loved God their whole life. You say they have not and they have a lot to learn, (you know, not 'keeping God's law & all). Well, as you know, everyone sins. Does it mean you, Ron, really did not love God before He allegedly revealed "truths" to you? Do you have a true blue tried and tested method to find out if someone has the 'truth' and thus, 'loves' God? Get over yourself. You are so self-righteous.

Tell me, how can you, Ron, know God if you can't admit the truth of Jer. 23:5-6 and Is. 48:12-13, 16. Is it because one of the most difficult things people face, is that their belief might be wrong, to acknowledge it and accept the truth - God's truth?

This is what those verses say;

Jer. 23:5 "The days are coming," declares the LORD (Yahweh, the self-existent, eternal). [In this case, the Father], "when I will raise up to David a righteous Branch, a King [Jesus] who will reign wisely and do what is just and right in the land.

6 In his days Judah will be saved and Israel will live in safety. This is the name by which he will be called: The LORD (Yahweh, the self-existent, eternal) Our Righteousness.

[Who is the righteous branch? Jesus is. What will he be called? Yahweh Our righteousness. Which Yahweh? The Son.]

Is. 48:12 "Listen to me, O Jacob, Israel, whom I have called: I am he; I am the first and I am the last.

[The speaker identifies himself as the First and the Last, and then goes on to say;]

13 My own hand laid the foundations of the earth, and my right hand spread out the heavens; when I summon them, they all stand up together.

[Here, this speaker says he laid the foundations of the earth and spread out the heavens. Who is this speaker, aside from the creator and the First and the Last? He identifies himself further in the following verse;]

16 "Come near me and listen to this: "From the first announcement I have not spoken in secret; at the time it happens, I am there." And now the Sovereign LORD (Yahweh, the self-existent, eternal) [In this case, the Father] has sent me, with his Spirit.

[He says the Sovereign Yahweh sent him, meaning; the Sovereign Yahweh sent the individual who laid the foundations of the earth, and spread out the heavens, the One who identified himself as the First and the Last.]

[More simply put; Jesus says the Sovereign Yahweh sent the individual who laid the foundations of the earth. Jesus is the creator. Jesus is Yahweh. The Father is Yahweh.]

Jesus said He came to reveal the Father. Interesting. What's to reveal? He's the God they've always known, isn't He? After all, according to you, Jesus didn't exist then.

It's amazing how what you "know," is 'from God', but not what I or anyone else knows. Everyone proclaims they have the truth - what makes you ANY different from them? Where is your proof? You don't have it. You know full well Ron, that when your first set of prophesies failed, that it was proof that God was not working with you, because God is not a liar. Can you tell us which of God's prophets He made look like a false prophet because what was proclaimed did not come to pass? You can't because God said when that happens, they are prophesies that did not come from Him.

Ron, you have told the congregation to go back to all the 'truths' God has given your church. Well, you need to tell them to go to their Bibles and 'truly' study, because they clearly don't. You and I both know that if they did, you'd be penniless. You must be pretty scared. How would you pay the taxes on your house? Yikes. Pretty clever how you came up with the plan and got a big chunk of their second tithe. Things are pretty tight with people dropping out, huh? Have you been investing or...? What's the plan for your financial stability when your second set of dates fall through?

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It is important that you understand; Everything on this blog is based on my current understanding. Never take anyone's word for it, always prove it for yourself, it is your responsibility. You cannot ride someone else's coattail into the Kingdom.

Poison Doctrine: the Dichotomy of Armstrongism

A philosophical set of ideas may appear incompatible with the resulting behavior at first glance. This is the idea I want to explore with a personal story that occurred after I was grown, and that, to be fully understood would need detailed dissection of the background.

It will have to suffice that I was grown, but a non-functioning member of society. The repetitive process over so many years of ingraining law, loyalty and the lines of authority of church, minister and mother (whom I’ll call RPS) into my head, was deeper than I could imagine. RPS’s techniques were encapsulated in humiliation and pain via the whipping of the bear ass of the child bent over a bed, in which crying would add more lashes until crying ceased; and the sessions would continue until all negative facial expressions were gone, and a state of complete submission and acceptance of guilt was achieved. My Dad said she was better at brainwashing than the Red Chinese. See; Thought Reform (Thanks to Weinland Watch). He was right; To this day, when I feel guilty about something, the warm sensation of the post beating endorphins clearly manifests itself in the appropriate location.

RPS was first married to RF; whom she had returned to, because church doctrine didn’t recognize the divorce, nor did it recognize her second marriage to my father. I was declared illegitimate, and accepted the classification as part of my identity, which was shame personified. RF had a daughter; D around my age from another relationship, and she had two children while yet in her teens. RPS considered D to be a lower form of life than a maggot, but always smiled and spoke sweetly to D’s face. RPS gained D’s confidence, and when D decided to spend some time with her children’s father to try to renew their relationship, RPS volunteered to take the kids for a few months but wanted D to sign a document that gave her temporary legal custody. After D left, RPS moved to another state for a number of years, and sent word to D that she had actually signed away her parental rights, period. According to RPS, D had huffed glue while pregnant with the second child (a boy I’ll call T) allegedly resulting in behavior abnormalities, but distrust of authorities wouldn’t allow her to seek any professional help.

The whole point of taking the kids was to ‘save’ them from the ‘evil druggy’; but RPS only understood the carrot and stick method of child rearing, and she would turn up the heat by degrees as she sensed rebellion. The older child (a girl) was sensitive and submissive so her treatment was not harsh, but RPS claimed the boy was obstinate and incorrigible. His self-professed ‘savior’ was determined to eradicate the roots of ill behavior; I learned to what degree RPS would go, when she returned approximately 6 yrs. later.

I had been floating between places I could crash, which included my grandmother’s; GM. I was taking another shot at school, and GM needing someone to be with her, had RPS move in. One would almost not know that T (now 8 yrs. old) was there. Except for periodical screaming and butt beating sessions, he’d be virtually invisible except on Sabbath, where he sat quietly, and was always known as a remarkably “good little boy.”

At home, RPS would keep T seated behind a table with chairs arranged in a semi circle around him to hang blankets over to keep him isolated; he would bite his finger nails down to the quick, and gnaw holes in the blankets, on bits of linoleum, molding, or anything else he could lay his hands on. T would find ingenuous ways of acquiring little tidbits of things he’d hide like inmates in prison hide their contraband, which showed evidence of intelligence incompatible with the kind of brain damage we were told he had. He would never cry when he got beat, his face would just grimace in a fashion that RPS took as defiance, and would net him more of the same. As I said, she would work on a child, until she extinguished any sign of defiance, but it seemed as if this kid was beyond breaking. I was all too familiar with what was happening to him, and I was having a running head-trip because of all the conflict it was stirring up. Just trying to recognize how wrong this was didn’t come easy. I had been in total denial of what had happened to me as a child, but now I was face to face with the evidence. I always accepted that I was punished because I deserved it. But I didn’t see how this kid did anything to warrant what he was getting.

I got an opportunity to make a few dollars driving a classic car to the port at Baltimore for shipment to Europe, but before I left, RPS asked me to help put together a storage closet with a bed on top, with the dimensions 4x4x7. I did what she asked. One entire side was open when I left for the East coast, but when I returned, it had been ply wooded closed, and T was now kept inside. I was told that he was destroying things in the house, and defecating in odd places. This was turning up the heat in my head, but what really woke me up was my future wife’s sister, JD, who was over for some reason when T was having a tantrum. No crying, just insane screaming. RPS yelled at me, “Grab him.” Instinctively, I immediately obeyed, as I always had, and she wailed the holy hell out of him. JD almost came unglued after we walked outside to go where we had been going before this incident, and in the car she demanded an explanation of how I could do such a thing, and I could only shake my head and say,”I don’t know.”

I was trying to fix myself, and deal with my own educational deficiencies. When I had been making progress in the past, it seemed that RPS would pull some stunt in her eternal battle with the ‘evil world,’ and I would be left emotionally messed up, and unable to deal with school work, and this was repeating itself. Now she was in control of the roof over my head, and I had no job qualifications; but I could no longer stand by and do nothing, so I made an appointment to see the minister; MD. I described to him everything that was happening, and when I had finished, I sat their expecting some guidance, but got only silence. After an uncomfortably long pause MD opened up both barrels, and among the crap he unloaded on me was the direct order to cease and desist bad mouthing my mother, and that he didn’t want to hear any echo of this coming back to him from any source.

MD had already put the screws to me. He had me reporting back to him on a specific quota of prayer, fasting and bible study as well as forced membership in spokesmen’s club. He had told me in no uncertain terms that when he spoke, I was to regard it as being spoken by Almighty God, so I complied, and more time passed. I was fighting depression of an order that barely allowed me to get through a day, and to try to ignore this barbarity was becoming impossible, so I fixed up a little room in the rafters of JD’s mother’s garage. If MD found out, the crap would hit the fan, so I had to park blocks away, and walk in by the cover of darkness.

So I began disobeying the minister, but it was either that or continue to see what was too sick to witness. Now I would just hide from it, and pretend it wasn’t happening. I was trying to deal with the authority issue, and my bible studies became self defense, as well as the start of a crack in my belief in Armstrongism. For the first time in my life, I began to think for myself, and to silence the endless loops of paranoiac sound-bites that had been infesting my brain. One act of disobedience, led to two which led to thinking that maybe the authorities weren’t synonymous with Satan, and maybe I should bite the bullet and finally do something about this abomination that was taking place.

I called CPS (Child Protective Services) and set up a meeting at a local fast food joint and spilled my guts, but I tried to extract, from the agent, a guarantee that they would simply go in and take the kids. The agent refused, and I chickened out, and told him I’d get back to him. Fortunately he took down my license plate number and soon after, they acted.

I wasn’t there, but I heard later that they came in with squad cars that blocked off every street for two blocks around, and went into the house in force and with weapons. But for some reason, they didn’t arrest RPS. They took photographs and statements and took the kids. There was no further action for several months.

Feast time came. I managed to get out of going, and I was asked to house sit at my Grandmother’s. No one seemed to guess that I had anything to do with what happened, so I was not yet the enemy. I continued to attend my classes, and the tension subsided to a reasonable degree. I came home one day to a circus in the front yard. I got out of my car, and had camera lenses and microphones shoved in my face, with a harangue of questions coming at me from all sides. They kept talking about a coffin sized box, and 6 or so years of imprisonment of a child. I told them there was no coffin sized box, but I had built a storage closet with a bed on top, and I didn’t know about six years of imprisonment.

The truth was bad enough, but these people were not even trying to be accurate. I was totally unprepared, and tired after a long day. I sat down on the porch and wiped my hand across my forehead and someone snapped a picture that, the next day, was on the front page of the local newspaper, and to my understanding was picked up by wire services and went worldwide. It was in papers in New York to various papers in Australia and Europe. The headline; “Son of women who kept a boy in a box defends mother.” When I went to school that day, all went silent when I walked into the room. Someone finally broke the silence and said; “hey, was that your picture in the paper this morning?” and; “I saw you on TV on the evening News.” This would not be the last time I made the news; it went on for the next 8 months.

I called legal services at headquarters, since there was no minister to talk to. I talked to a mister Helge, I believe his name was, and I told him my story, and that I had told MD all about it many months earlier. I might have heard a gasp on the other end of the line, they wasted no time. I think it was the next day they called me back and gave me instructions. I was to meet a lawyer in his office downtown, and I was to shut my mouth, and say not another word to the press. I kept my appointment, and the lawyer told me in no uncertain terms, that he was a lawyer for the church, and his job was to keep the name of the church out of the press etc. He made it clear that people like us couldn’t afford someone like him, and that the hundred thousand dollar retainer he received from the church meant that he would defend RPS, but he did this only to achieve what he was paid to accomplish, and that I “damn well better cooperate.”

Eventually the press found out about him, and no one could understand why such a high profile lawyer would take the case of such a ‘nobody.’ I never told anyone except my closest confidants, until now.

The lawyer succeeded in minimizing the headlines and plea bargained for a 30 day stint in jail for RPS. There was outrage among many people who were following the story. But it all eventually died out and is now forgotten, but the collateral damage and warped minds remain.

What is my point in all of this? To me it seems that every story has to have a lesson, and the lesson here is all about legalism. The church didn’t tell my mother to do what she did. They would not have sanctioned it. In fact my mother already had legalism down pretty good because she learned it from her father. See Granddad & the Old Testament Law. The WCG at the time attracted people of this persuasion, and maintained their view; strengthened it; kept the paranoia going, the ‘us against the world’ mentality; the ‘Satan is the god of the world, therefore the authorities are evil’ mindset; not to mention the overblown notion that a pot smoker is some kind of evil minion of a demon.

I think this story just illustrates that law, meant to create good, can in fact generate evil, as in Rom 7:10 “I found that the very commandment that was intended to bring life actually brought death.” The best personalities I’ve seen, come from environments that concentrate on encouraging good, instead of harping endlessly on what’s perceived as evil. And I think this describes the Old vs. the New Covenant perspective. The creation of good can drown out the evil; it has in my personal experience. As long as I concentrated on how bad I was, I got worse. As soon as I just forgot about it and thought about good things, somehow everything I fretted about just seemed to melt away.

These types of parents create the evil they think they’re snuffing out.

A child loved, is child who loves back.